Too
many managers confuse "urgent" with "important" and mistake
"being busy" for "being productive." Here is a question to
think about: Are you always busy? Do you allow yourself to
fall into the activity trap of never ending busyness to the
point that it has become your second nature? Is "being busy"
an identity or even a status factor for you? If the answer is
yes, you might want to reflect on this and find a way to
dissolve and breakout of the "being busy" identity. Too many
people stay obsessively and addictively busy to build their
sense of self-importance. They end up filling their lives with
an excessive amount of urgent but totally unimportant stuff.
It's an unhealthy self-concept and a distorted self-view that
says: "As long as I am busy, I am included. I am in on what's
happening and I am important."
The
story of Monty
Monty
always walked fast. It was a habit he had developed to confirm
to himself that he was indeed a very busy and successful man.
This
let everyone around him know that he had urgent things on his
plate and was working very hard. It
gave Monty a sense that he was important and he believed this
was the surest way to gain people's respect. Through years of
dedication and hard work he rose up the corporate ladder to
the level of Vice President. Monty's
perception of a leader's image was someone who was always on
his way somewhere, looking intense and necessarily short on
time. He
believed everyone else noticed that he was always focused on a
mission and not wasting time.
In
Monty's mind this was the way to build his leadership
authority. Whenever you spoke with him you would get the
feeling that he was preoccupied with more pressing, important
and urgent things than you. If you had the opportunity to have
lunch with him, he would check his blackberry every 47
seconds. He was really very, very busy.
Some
years later Monty lost his job. He was in total shock and
denial. He got up in the morning and pretended he was still
very busy. For 34 years his identity had been built on how
busy he appeared at work. Suddenly,
there wasn't anyone waiting on his every move.
Instead,there
was a complete void which he filled with pretending just how
busy he continued to be. So he got up every morning and now
put that show on for his family.
Monty
had been a talented engineer with a creative mind, which was
the reason for his original success. But as he became a
manager, he distanced himself from his strengths and focused
on his perceived image of a leader as a busy person with
urgent things on his table. He became addicted to this
self-view. Now his self-esteem was punctured and all that he
was left with was to keep trying to recreate the "being
forever busy" identity. This was his internal program. He did
not know anything else and his life began to unravel.
He
was now unable to find a constructive outlet in his new
situation. His children shied away from him, his marriage was
in a crisis and his health began to suffer.
Do
you give yourself permission?
Monty
confused "Urgent" with "important" and mistook "being busy"
for "being productive." What
about you? Do you feel you have to be constantly busy? Do you
feel unease or guilt if you are not constantly
occupied with something?
Are
you able to enjoy where you are? Do you give yourself
permission to be at peace and to reflect?
To
be great you have to let go of a lot of not-so-great things.
In fact you have to learn to let go of the good so the great
can find you. True, it's invigorating to be busy with
important things. It's
not so enriching at all to be busy with things that have no
consequence for you, that are not aligned to your vital few
important values, that don't get you closer to living on
purpose. To be great you've got to make space in your life for
great things.
Most
people understand the need to prioritize, but this is beyond
organizing your day. This is building-in value for what you
are doing while keeping in sight the quality of life you
strive to achieve. Urgent just means pressing, it doesn't
necessarily mean critically important viewed through the
perspective of your declared values. Busyness can also mean
deliberately leaving no time to think because you are
uncomfortable with thinking, reflection and patient
waiting.
Reflect
and act
Here
is how you begin to break away from this self-inflicted blind
spot:
- Plan
to have 10-20 minutes at the start of every day to do things
at ease, to be able to reflect and focus on the two or three
most important things for you today.
- Create
dashboard notices in your car, office, study and on your
screen saver to help you break out of the urgency and
busyness addiction. Here are some ideas you can use or,
better still, create your own.
Notes like:
"Relax and take a deep breath"
"What is most important for me
now?"
"Enjoy, be
present"
"Remember, you are the CEO"
(you are the CEO of your own enterprise)
"This too shall pass"
- Instead
of treating every day as a marathon, do a series of short
sprints. Get up or step back every 45-60 minutes to take a
moment. Take a deep breath; enjoy the view and what you
do.
- Ask
regularly: Am I focused on the most vital thing? Is there
something better, more important and more energizing for me
to do?
- Allow
an unplanned moment every day, have a spontaneous
conversation, make an act of generosity, express thanks and
appreciation.
It's
your turn now. Turn the key. Be your own leader.
©
Aviv Shahar
